Saturday, April 03, 2010

Old poems Vicki- Red

I broke a rule today that I have had with myself since I was in 3rd grade. I read some of my old diary entries/personal stories. I used to write stories and poems. This is the first of two posts. I wanted to share some of the poems here with you....

A dandelion against the shed,

Yellow laboring soundless…

Blithely comforts,

Simply peaceful.

Quietly falls white-blond.

If there are such thing as angels

That save from above,

You are the devil

That showed me heaven

Through the gates of hell.

Saved from every fear

I’ve seen the devil’s cruel face.

Live through it and learn

But never forget

Never regret.





I destroyed myself for you,

Rebuilt myself for you,

Found everything because of you,

And almost lost everything too.

Dreaming gave me what I wanted

While you played with my heart.

Cuz like a cat and mouse

It’s your way

You care.

So, I stand in the wind,

Problems blow away;

I lie in the sun

and they melt into puddles.

Gentle sounds of water

Wash away the fears

And kiss everything below.

Submit to defeat;

Leave behind the mask

painstakingly built,

Because the whirlwind,

A vortex of chaos,



Love, don’t hate…

Forgive and don’t forget,

Never regret

remember that feelin u had,

the one when this evil deed was done

unto u?

think back upon the


u made

to nvr let that happen to anyone u knew.

remember me in your next thought

and how this irony has unfold.

triple it by three...

one for the impact he left on my life,

the memories he boiled out of my locked soul.

And two for the peace you have placed in my heart,

o jesus be gentle with me.

And three, could you ever imagine wut we got

to and where we gone, so dang'rus 'n lust?

now think

how i FEEL!

and on second thought,

is it worth

loosing me

for his love?

Why is this the only reason

I do as you


Fear binds me

To a path I don’t want.

Will you yell at me

For 3 days straight

6 hours of screaming each

4 days of hate

Or drag me by my hair?

I don't want to go to church.

I'm sorry that I didn't do as you said, but

My arm burns

Where he scraped it against the table edge.

I don’t want to find

My self in a corner with a hand,

A foot plate in my back

Or a bed post by my head.

No escape,

Anger irrationally hates.

So today I stay

In my bed,

My room where

I run, but you always follow.

Safe for the first time

Because he is no longer here

And you can’t get in.

Love to obsession;

love turned to rage and


a drowning pool.

Will fear really


Where is my mind,

it echoes…

I hear voices, my past, talking…

Insanity and my past comes alive,

Roller coasters of emotion.

The places where roller coasters echo are not

quiet places.

Trapped again.

I remember this feeling,

This one right now… see my eyes, wide!

My future is to start again…

THE SAME, will it come again?

Don’t push me,

I might easily give in.

Hair as black as coal, straight, too straight;

A saint.

She promises responsibility to God.

her children must know the right path, a godly one.

Her child loves me.

Empathetic eyes full of tears, so sad;

A saint.

She is the door through which entered the Lord.

Her child loves me.

Lighthouses guide more than the lonely, lost boats.

Standing serene and strong.

A lot of love flows from mothers…

and children.

God’s children, forever.



It seems every time


In a wonderful place

It always falls apart.

Afraid of my past

The screaming kills

My heart! My soul!

The insanity!

Hit me

Slaughter me

Yell once more

Put me away


Make more pain

Push me over the line

I DARE!!!!

Schools’ torture

Enraged the crying beast of me.

My only comfort from home

Tossed me back into misery.

I hated them

And they so called loved me.

But then

They turn

They turn on me

They turn on me

It seems.


Left alone to die

To wander in the dark

Emotion running high

The fire destroys my heart inside

From the ashes

Comes alive, a phoenix inside!!!

Come to me

O healing storm.

Jesus be gentle with me.

Let this new place



Of that fear

Of that old me.


Does a strawberry hide


A blueberry’s pride


Indian corn has an


Ocean rhythm


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