Anything can be trauma... even falling off a bike or an argument with a friend. We deal with dozens of "trauma's" every day. Think how amazing it is that we can deal with those every day, without even thinking about it! Its that .1% that gets through our defenses that can make us go haywire. Trauma hijacks the brain and the body and when unresolved the body is on the same "high alert" that it was in right after the original incident. It makes everything work off kilter and after many years, many things start malfunctioning in our bodies, brains, minds, emotions, and spirit.
After nearly completing the program, I feel like I used to have tunnel vision (and never realized it before) that tunneled right to the painful memories and emotions in an instant. Now they are just old memories, as benign as the last book I read. Lessons that I learned from and can finally move on from. I live more in the moment, the now and the future. I can enjoy things that I would give up my first born to avoid (like watching fireworks or being intimate with a lover). I feel stable and balanced and ready to enjoy each day as it comes. Aches and chronic pains and some food allergies are gone. Old injuries healed, bad posture corrected, and anxiety/PTSD symptoms are GONE too. Its mostly subtle inner changes though. My doctors say that nothing is different. But my dad says I'm "friendlier" and my moods have evened out. Addictions that I used to have I have no need for. I stopped and didn't realize I had stopped until long after. I feel wiser now. I can step back watch something with a small inner smile. I've stopped reacting to everything and now can plan and act.
For me, however, the deeper I got into the sessions, the more spiritual it became for me. I became much more connected to myself and I could feel my energy, my life force moving. I was so "stuck" before. Stuck in everything... from my view on life, to the way I moved by body, to being able to feel my emotions. Learning how to trust my body as it was adjusting and gaining skills and my energy moving around was challenging, but liberating. It started to change the way I interacted with the world. I started trusting providence to bring me what I need instead of always fighting. Listening to my body and what it needs led me to try doing the same with my energy, my spirit, within me. If that is driving all day to get to the beach or bringing home something at the grocery store that I've never seen before, I do, because it "feels right" and "feels like what I need". It has become a give and take. I let providence bring me what I need that I don't have and I go after the things that my body tells me I need that I can reach. It is crazy specific. I need money... I get money. I'm looking for the perfect roommate with a million specifications, and I get that perfect roommate. Sometimes its like a best friend that can fill in your sentences and I'm looking for something and I cant describe it or visualize it, but I can give a feeling. And the answer to what will produce what I want just shows up. I used this new process to design an exercise program... and its fun to do it! I don't have to think about "what to make for dinner" or mull over any decisions, even life changing one's it seems, because the perfect and ideal decision just happens. The more I practice with it, the more unbelievable it gets.
Ironically, as a chemist somehow all this crazy energy/providence stuff makes more sense than anything else I have ever encountered. The explanations, the whats and whys and hows, fit too perfectly into the models and atomic theories in my textbooks. Call me crazy.... but honestly, I feel like I have stepped into a whole new world. That is how much my paradigm has shifted.