Friday, April 27, 2012

Violence

"When you witness a miracle, it is hard to not have hope, even in the face of senseless violence. Be humble to the power of love, mercy, and grace in the wake of hope. Do not let fear and guilt and sorrow prevent you from walking the path of enlightenment. The power of the heart is the greatest force on earth, but only if you let it be."


"the tears, guilt, and fear in our life remind us how much we care."

Neighbor just went through the window. For a minute, i didnt know if i was going to find a dead body outside my door.


I simply just can't live here anymore. It's time to move on!  They were fighting again. I hope this results in their drunk asses finally getting evicted.  Seriously... im on the phone with the police or landlord just about once every 6 months about something major..


Thursday, April 26, 2012

Feminism

so, im thinking out loud here after reading these two blog posts.....

http://owningyourshit.blogspot.co.uk/20 ... -deep.html


http://owningyourshit.blogspot.co.uk/20 ... lypse.html



since identifying as bigender, I have found it difficult to relate with feminist concepts. Perhaps it is seeing both sides of the fence. I think there are some really good points made in those blog posts. My gut reaction is actually "thank god I'm gay''... being in a same sex family would seem to eliminate/reduce some of the problems that directly impact me personally! I want to be the bread winner. i also want to be a 
mom... but not in the same sense as a single cis-woman. the challenge as a bigender individual for me is how do i gain a strong positive male identity through my actions and place in society (ie: a professional in private practice, a politician, and a scientist) yet stay rooted in/retain a circle of female friends and maintain a strong female identity. i approach work in a very male way and home in a very female way (in the context/definition of the blog posts) and that is the way i like it and want it. im not trying to be everything and everyone for everybody, i am simply career driven but also capable of switching gears and dialectically being not career driven. being faab, being with a cis-guy would put him at risk of being in competition with me for "the" male role of the relationship and expecting him to share the "female role" (if he chose to take it up... and i have had a few relationships fall apart on me for this very reason). being in a relationship with a woman potentially could more compatibly allow me to be the breadwinner and also share the mother role.


i wonder what solutions to living in gender roles and negotiating creating/retaining/thriving in their multiple gender identities exist? do you think it is possible to successfully create/retain/thrive in TWO gender roles as pertains to living as two genders? or is this an ideal and not realistically possible because whether we realize it or not society forces us to relate to our attempt at two distinct gender roles as one gender resulting in the cis-gender "epic fail" that the blog post so graphically describes of trying to fill both roles but essentially not being able to because we are designed to function within specific gender roles.

*note: i realize this post is laced with assumptions and messy semantics and perhaps not so politically correct language, but i was attempting to frame my thoughts using the same set of biases used by the blog author. 

Friday, April 20, 2012

OMFG MY STUDY IS IN THE HUFFINGTON POST!

OMFG MY STUDY IS IN THE HUFFINGTON POST!


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/19/alternating-gender-incongruity_n_1438911.html?ref=gay-voices&ir=Gay+Voices&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009




Here is another fascinating (and sad) study.


http://thetaskforceblog.org/2012/04/23/new-study-finds-genderqueer-people-face-unique-patterns-of-abuse-and-discrimination/


“These findings aren’t just groundbreaking ... they are a call to action. No one should have to get up in the morning fearing they will be denied a job [76%], abused by police [31%], mistreated by a doctor [36%] or attacked while walking down the street [32%] simply because of their gender identity and expression. For genderqueer people, this is a harsh and unacceptable reality.”  



‎"The results stunned even those working in the trenches with the most targeted and marginalized transgender people. Despite having attended college or gained a college degree or higher at 1.74 times the rate of the general population (47 percent versus 27 percent), respondents revealed brutal impacts of discrimination, experiencing unemployment at twice the rate and living in extreme poverty ($10,000 annually or less) at four times the rate of the general population. These and other experiences impacted study participants gravely, as 41 percent report having survived a suicide attempt."percent), respondents revealed brutal impacts of discrimination, experiencing unemployment at twice the rate and living in extreme poverty ($10,000 annually or less) at four times the rate of the general population. These and other experiences impacted study participants gravely, as 41 percent report having survived a suicide attempt."

Monday, April 09, 2012

Bigender Study

After 22 years of struggling with my gender identity and sexual orientation, I started identifying as Bigender 2 years ago. Not long after I fell into meeting a grad student under Dr. Ramachandran, famous for his work in identifying and treating phantom limbs. I convinced Laura Case to do a study on Bigender people to find out if there is any physical basis toil... ie: is it real? It was just published... take a look! Amazing!


http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22364652