Thursday, April 26, 2012


so, im thinking out loud here after reading these two blog posts..... ... -deep.html ... lypse.html

since identifying as bigender, I have found it difficult to relate with feminist concepts. Perhaps it is seeing both sides of the fence. I think there are some really good points made in those blog posts. My gut reaction is actually "thank god I'm gay''... being in a same sex family would seem to eliminate/reduce some of the problems that directly impact me personally! I want to be the bread winner. i also want to be a 
mom... but not in the same sense as a single cis-woman. the challenge as a bigender individual for me is how do i gain a strong positive male identity through my actions and place in society (ie: a professional in private practice, a politician, and a scientist) yet stay rooted in/retain a circle of female friends and maintain a strong female identity. i approach work in a very male way and home in a very female way (in the context/definition of the blog posts) and that is the way i like it and want it. im not trying to be everything and everyone for everybody, i am simply career driven but also capable of switching gears and dialectically being not career driven. being faab, being with a cis-guy would put him at risk of being in competition with me for "the" male role of the relationship and expecting him to share the "female role" (if he chose to take it up... and i have had a few relationships fall apart on me for this very reason). being in a relationship with a woman potentially could more compatibly allow me to be the breadwinner and also share the mother role.

i wonder what solutions to living in gender roles and negotiating creating/retaining/thriving in their multiple gender identities exist? do you think it is possible to successfully create/retain/thrive in TWO gender roles as pertains to living as two genders? or is this an ideal and not realistically possible because whether we realize it or not society forces us to relate to our attempt at two distinct gender roles as one gender resulting in the cis-gender "epic fail" that the blog post so graphically describes of trying to fill both roles but essentially not being able to because we are designed to function within specific gender roles.

*note: i realize this post is laced with assumptions and messy semantics and perhaps not so politically correct language, but i was attempting to frame my thoughts using the same set of biases used by the blog author. 

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