Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Moving on

Increasingly it feels like my parents are fighting over me because it is something to fight about. I don't think very many people could possibly imagine the horror I've been through in the past 3 months. When it comes to money, my parents fight over me so they can get tax write-offs and other support payments to pay off credit cards, mortgages, etc. But when it comes to helping me with medical bills, food, or going to school... forget it. I'm non-existent.

I have dreams and goals. Things I want to do. To see. To be. But it feels like one half of those things I'm being or have been prevented from accomplishing. The other half I'm too afraid of because every time I try to achieve them myself (mind you... without much support or guidance) I often failed. When I succeeded, it didn't matter to my family. I guess I had chosen poor friends because they didn't care much either.

San Diego feels like both my prison and my haven of respite. If I went back to school, would everything just magically be better though? No... But I'd at least like the chance to pretend.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, your parents are not fighting over you for Financial Gain! One parent wants to solve the problem and one parent does NOT want to solve the problem and that is all there is to it. There are egotistical individuals in multiple States who have the power to make things right again, but laws vary between the states and there has to be a consensus first to get a solution.Some of those "poor friends you have chosen" out here believe in what you can accomplish. If they seem vacant from your life when it seems that you need them the most, I challenge you to think how often YOU check in with them and see if they could benefit from your input in THEIR problems! If you really have dreams and goals, put down in your blog what it is that actually stops you from reaching them, and we(I) will see these lifestopping reasons and will be able to help you understand how to overcome them, if indeed they seem insurmountable to you ! Your friends(and me) out here KNOW what potential you have exhibited and what capabilities you have exhibited. That is why WE believe YOU CAN GETERDONE!! As far as your often failing in your achievements, how the H--- will you ever know if you succeed if you don't have a ruler to measure your sucesses? The ruler is made up from your minor failings. You need one to know if you have the other !!!!! This is important enough to read twice.