My new years resolution for 2010 was to learn how to love myself. Over the course of the year, I think being compassionate to myself was a much bigger part of that resolution. I have learned how to deal with crisis, I've learned how to enjoy my 6 senses (vision, hearing, taste, touch, smell, and energy), and I've learned how to meditate. I've learned how to take care of myself. I've learned that I don't have to punish myself when things go wrong or don't go my way. And I have learned that it is ok to be happy. Its ok to be ME.
While I would definitely say I am a happier person now than I have ever been in my life, but I also know that there is a lot more I could do. I still struggle to have compassion for myself when sad or struggling with the challenges of life. As a massage therapist, learning how to be compassionate for myself is key in having compassion for others. If I don't have a healthy compassion for myself, I loose a healthy boundary, which can be dangerous when working in a service industry. I have a history of over compassion and over empathy that leads to co-dependency. But every day, I try to do something for myself. A bath. Sit in the sun. Dream. And day by day I will chip away at the ice block in my heart.
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